Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dream Job Deterred: Bikini-Clad Latina Cannot Serve Beer


As I was perusing the New York newspaper sites this headline: “Former Hooters girl Melody Morales sues Hawaiian Tropic Zone for discrimination,” caught my eye. I didn’t click on it for the obvious (Hooters) but for the last name; I mean I gotta see what’s up with mi gente, right? Well, much to my chagrin it wasn’t the story I was looking for; not to say that she has no right to sue anyone but it’s the damn quotes coming out of her mouth. UGGH! Before I go further, she says she was discriminated because of her accent which is foul but again check the quotes below. Also, the Tropics manager isn’t a genius either.

“The lawsuit says Morales went with her mother to the restaurant in March 2008 in search of a job. But the suit claims she was told to get lost by a manager, who said, ‘I am not going to ruin my business with your Latin accent.’”
Don’t Latinas with accents have men putty in their hands?

“Morales, who said her dream job is to pour drinks while strutting her stuff in a bikini, returned to the Hawaiian Tropic Zone months later still in pursuit of a position.”
Really? WTF? Not I want to go to college or get my Barack on and do community service?

"They never even looked at me in a bikini," she whimpered.
This sounds like a scene from a Skinemax flick.

A lawyer for the Riese Organization, which operates the Hawaiian Tropic Zone, said the suit is "without merit." "We are proud of the many Latino and Latina employees in our diverse workforce," said James Rosenzweig.
What he meant to say was we’re proud of all the illegal immigrants in the kitchen.

"It was kind of like my dream to work at the [Hawaiian Tropic Zone]," she said. "It's the bikini, I guess.
Again SMH!

Uno,

Jesus
[Source]

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Guilty Pleasure: The Bad Girls Club



I have a confession: I love The Bad Girls Club. Yes, it's a guilty pleasure. Yes, it's on Oxygen (why the fuck am I watching that?). Yes, it's reality TV but I love it. The wife and I ended up watching a marathon on a day we were home sick from work. If you haven't seen it, just imagine taking all the wild girls from The Real World crew and arming them with a limo at their disposable. Clubs, liquor, booty shaking, buttafaces—all in one show! Every night and all night. Check the clip below and tell me you wouldn’t get hooked.

Uno,

Jesus

Co-Workers Make The World Go ‘Round


This past Thursday I swung by the homie Ans' fiesta at Negril. With all the familiar faces it felt like a class reunion (one you wouldn't mind going to). The more and more I reminisced the more I felt removed from the hip-hop mag world. Even though it was less than two years ago it felt like a lifetime ago. I still love hip-hop culture and will ‘til God calls me up but things done changed.

Yet the more important realization I had that night was how much I missed working with these people. As awkward as it was at times at the old gig I could always rely on good times with great co-workers. Anyway this is just a shout-out to all my former co-workers (Ans, Matt, Kali, Sean) who were there and those who weren't (LC, Killa, Tone, JB, Aqua). Damn this recession is a mean mutha.

Uno,

Jesus

Monday, January 5, 2009

Latinos Gets No Love in ‘The Real World’



I’m an avid Real World watcher. In my early 20s I would identify with some of the cast mates but now as a full blown adult I enjoy poking fun at them. It’s pure entertainment. Yet in the 20 seasons and counting and the over 100 cast mates their have only been around nine Latinos on the show. See below for the breakdown.

L.A.
: Irene was a cop. The cowboy virgin developed a crush on here.

San Francisco: Rachel was Cuban and *shock* a Republican from Arizona. She frenched Puck, yes, that Puck.

Pedro: Became a sign of the times and inspiration to millions…ain’t nothing wrong with that. R.I.P.

Miami: Melissa is Cuban (hey it’s Miami!) and had a threesome in the house.

Philadelphia: Willie was a gay Puerto Rock who was on Ghostwriter.

Austin: Johanna is Peruvian, pretty cute except for her overbite. Dated Wes. UGGH!

Key West: Jose: It took over 10 years just to get a Jose on the show. Where is MTV looking!?

Sydney: Didn’t watch this one but apparently there was a Latina on the cast.

Brooklyn: J.D. is a gay dude who works as a dolphin trainer.

Now out of the 9 Latinos on the show three were gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that, at least three were Cuban and one made out with Puck. Latinos are presently the largest minority group in the States yet we gets no love on the Real World. Maybe it’s a good thing we don’t always make the cut. When was the last time anyone on RW made you feel proud. That’s real.

Uno,

Jesus

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Colombian Cougars Got My Brother-In-Law…And He Loved It


I spent New Year’s Eve with a bunch of cumbia-loving Colombians. The wife, her fam and I attended a party in Queens which included food, an orchestra and a multitude of underdressed cougars. It was fun to get out of the routine of eating food and getting a blessing from the ‘rents (which I still got via phone). Even though the food was included in the cover price the liquor wasn’t so I pulled a ‘hood move and brought in a bottle of booze (I was checked at the door by a blind man). After a decent meal and a couple of shots of Tequila we turned our attention to my bro-in-laws. The oldest one Stephen was looking dapper, pause, and getting his game on like he was back in DR.

His game didn’t go live until he was buzzed but it was on overdrive once he was on. He was stopped by one of, as my wife called them, the Housewives of Jackson Heights and she proceeded to lay her botoxy nalgas on young’un. They were both easy prey—he’s days away from being 18 and she was hours away from celebrating her 18th botox injection. She was rolling with two other (lame) cougars who I assumed were married to either a travel agency/wire service store owner or a drug dealer or restaurateur who was funded by drugs. Oh stereotypes among Latinos! You gotta love it! By the end of the night Stevie got some digits and Julio (their friend) got the digits of a girl whose mom was a man-mom (he-she’s face was rougher than Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler). At midnight I got many kisses from my bella and thanked God for my life. 2009 will be even better than the last 365 days.

Happy & Prosperous 2009!

Jesus

Where’s Our Go-To Couple?


Ralph & Alice had Ed & Trixie; Doug & Carrie had Deacon & Kelly; Fred & Wilma had Barney & Betty. The wife and I do not have a go-to couple. You know, the pair of husband/wife or bf/gf that are the default double date peeps. Most of our friends are single and mingling for the exception of a few. Last week one of her bffs, Pris, came over the crib with her hubby Oz. And it was in-cred-ible. We enjoyed great food (cooked by my wife, the shock I know), talked current events a bit, and more importantly played video games.

While Pris and Yva yakked about ponies and Oprah (which I assume women talk about), Oz and I talked sports, hip-hop and video games (which is what a Marine and journalist talk about). We drank sangria, played DC Universe vs. Mortal Kombat, Buzz and Rock Band until 2AM and then watched Superbad. Alas, they live in San Diego and only come once a year if that. They were gone and now it’s just a pleasant memory. So one of the things I asked for Christmas was to get Pris & Oz to come back to the Dirt Jerz or for one of our solo amigos/as to get a solid patna.

Uno,

Jesus